They can spend a fortune on a brand new pitch

It gets 5 stars in the new edition of “Which”

They can invest in an aquatherapy pool

But Scottish clubs still get outbid by Hartlepool

Then can embrace sports medicine and nutrition

Employ the very best sports physician

Stick to Financial Fair Play rules

Scottish clubs still get outbid by Hartlepool

Chorus

They can run their club properly

Avoid scandal and intrigue

But humiliating would it be

Getting outbid by club from the National League

Verse

They can make sure their coach never gets sacked

Abide by the Disability Discrimination Act 

Run a free summer coaching school

Scottish clubs still get outbid by Hartlepool

Their players can take a vow of abstinence

They can always pursue due diligence

Club cars might all use low emission fuel

Scottish clubs still get outbid by Hartlepool

Chorus

They can run their club properly

Avoid scandal and intrigue

But humiliating would it be

Getting outbid by a club from the National League

Verse

They can have Michelin class hospitality

Let under 12’s into games for free

But they still

Get outbid

By

Hartlepool

© Robin Grimmond 2025